we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
