I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
