You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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