Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
