Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
