That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
