Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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