yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
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