I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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