Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
