The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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