If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
