I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
