remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Girls should come with a carfax report
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.