cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?