i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
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Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.