Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.