i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
