I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
