I have demons in me.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
