dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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