they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
