There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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