He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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