Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
