I will die if light touches me.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
