I puked a lego.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
