I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
