You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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