it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize