maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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