He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
