Will you blow on my dice?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My day in three words: secret purse cake
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
