then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize