Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
