Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Come see our sink grown plant.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
