dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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