Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
