Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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