Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
