I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
