quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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