i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
