Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
