yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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