Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
