Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
