Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We named our party play list daddy issues
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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