I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
