What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
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I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
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Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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