I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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