she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Dicks are not precious.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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