Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
