Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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