yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
