4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
