Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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