My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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