pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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