I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched a dick in church today
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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