She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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