Soap is not a condiment
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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