either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize